Managing Anticipatory Grief
Anticipatory, sometimes also called preparatory grief, is when you are grieving prior to an event happening. This happens in many instances. Sometimes a divorce is looming, a loved one has been sent to hospice or even if someone is facing their own illnesses or end of life.
Though not everyone understands it, anticipatory grief is normal and something people suffer from more than we as a society discuss.
If you’re going through this or know someone who is, there are things you can do to navigate this process.
Stay Connected
It’s very easy to isolate yourself from the people who care about you and think you have to handle this on your own. You don’t. This is a good time to lean on friends and family. If you know someone who is going through this, your instincts may be to leave them alone, but we hear from clients and the people we interview more often than not that they need their people. Show up. Drop off food. Offer to babysit. Do all the things you would want someone to do for you.
Get the Support that You Need
If you don’t have a community ready or able to help nearby, you may want to seek someone to talk to to help you navigate your next steps. Whether you seek out a counselor or a grief coach, know that there are services available to you with people who are trained to help you as you go through uncharted territory.
Understand that Your Emotions are Normal
Everything you’re experiencing and feeling is completely normal. Not everyone reacts the same way at the same time, so don’t judge your emotions on how others are reacting. Feel your feelings. This is tough and you need to do whatever works best for you. It’s time for self care, talking with the people you love, and doing whatever you need to do to cope.
Communicate
Let people know what you need. If you’re losing someone you love, it’s time to say anything that you don’t want to leave unsaid. You have the opportunity to get some closure. If you need help, get specific and ask for what you need from people you know can support you.
Anticipatory grief is something we will all experience at some point in time, like all grief. It’s important to know that what you’re going through is normal, but your own experience is unique. Lean on your support system and find someone to help you walk this path.
Are you struggling with grief and need some support? We are here to help. Set up a grief coaching appointment with either Mia or Julia by emailing us or grab a copy of our workbook to have tangible tools to heal at your own pace.